The Strongest Power

Love is the strongest power.
If you have it,
you hold the world in the palm of your hands.
It carries you through the hard trials & tribulations of life.
It comforts you when you cry.
If you have it, share it,
For it is the power to overcome all.

Just Somethin ta Ponder over Current mood:Lost n random thots Category: Life It's not always easy to distinguish tha good guys from tha bad guys. Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints. Why do we try to define people as simply good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side within one heart, and that anyone is capable of anything.

dOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Here’s ta Brian! Current mood: enlightened Category: Romance and Relationships
The followin info. wuz found here online all of the highlighted areas that have been put in bold face, underlined & italisized are the VERY EXACT THINGS in which (U)BRIAN! (cuz I know yer readin' this!) are only SOME of the examples in which I've witnessed, along with alotta others around me, you brought into our relationship! Tho I know I'm better & smarter than that! Been there in tha past with others & WILL NEVER EVA GO BK! thank ya just tha same!

Domestic violence toward women: Recognize the patterns and seek helpDate updated: May 23, 2007 Content provided by MayoClinic.com
Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won't happen again. But you fear it will. At times you may start to doubt your own judgment, or wonder whether you're going crazy. You may even feel like you've imagined the whole thing. But the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you may be the victim of domestic violence.
Also called domestic abuse, intimate partner violence or battering, domestic violence occurs between people in intimate relationships. It can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse.Domestic violence is most often directed toward women. It can happen in heterosexual or lesbian relationships.
Unfortunately, domestic violence against women is common. It happens to teenage girls and women of all backgrounds. As many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year.
Recognizing abuse: Know the signs
It may not be easy to identify abuse, especially at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. For example, abuse may begin with occasional hurtful comments, jealousy or controlling behavior. As it gets worse, the abuse may become more frequent, severe or violent. As the cycle of abuse worsens, your safety or the safety of your children may be in danger.
You may be a victim of abuse if you're in a relationship with someone who:
Controls finances, so you have to ask for money
Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you
Acts jealous or possessive, or accuses you of being unfaithful
Tries to control how you spend your time, who you see or talk to, where you go or what you wear
Wants you to get permission to make everyday decisions
Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
Scares you by driving recklessly
Threatens to kill him or herself
You are very likely in an abusive relationship if you have a relationship with someone who does even one of the following:
Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, or chokes you or threatens you with violence or a weapon
Forces you to have sexual intercourse or engage in sexual acts against your will
Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
Prevents you from going to work or school
Stops you from seeing family members and friends
Hurts, or threatens to hurt you, your children or pets
Destroys your property
Controls your access to medicines
Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it
Says that his or her abusive behavior is no big deal or even denies doing it
Tries to force you to drop charges
Tries to prevent you from calling the police or seeking medical care
Pregnancy, children and abuse
Pregnancy is a particularly perilous time for an abused woman. Not only is your health at risk, but also the health of your unborn child. Abuse can begin or may increase during pregnancy.
Abusive relationships can also be particularly damaging to children, even if they're just witnesses. But for women in an abusive relationship, chances are much higher that their children also will be direct victims of abuse. Over half of men who abuse their female partners also abuse their children.
An abusive relationship: It's about power and control
Though there are no typical victims of domestic violence, abusive relationships do share similar characteristics. In all cases, the abuser aims to exert power and control over his partner.
Although a lot of people think domestic violence is about anger, it really isn't. Batterers do tend to take their anger out on their intimate partner. But it's not really about anger. It's about trying to instill fear and wanting to have power and control in the relationship. In an abusive relationship, the abuser may use varying tactics to gain power and control, including:
Emotional abuse. Uses put-downs, insults, criticism or name-calling to make you feel bad about yourself.
Denial and blame. Denies that the abuse occurs and shifts responsibility for the abusive behavior onto you. This may leave you confused and unsure of yourself.
Intimidation. Uses certain looks, actions or gestures to instill fear. The abuser may break things, destroy property, abuse pets or display weapons.
Coercion and threats. Threatens to hurt other family members, pets, children or self.
Power. Makes all major decisions, defines the roles in your relationship, is in charge of the home and social life, and treats you like a servant or possession.
Isolation. Limits your contact with family and friends, requires you to get permission to leave the house, doesn't allow you to work or attend school, and controls your activities and social events. The abuser may ask where you've been, track your time and whereabouts, or check the odometer on your car.
Children as pawns. Accuses you of bad parenting, threatens to take the children away, uses the children to relay messages, or threatens to report you to children's protective services.
Economic abuse. Controls finances, refuses to share money, makes you account for money spent and doesn't want you to work outside the home. The abuser may also try to sabotage your work performance by forcing you to miss work or by calling you frequently at work.
Breaking the cycle: Difficult, but possible with help
Domestic violence is part of a continuing cycle that's difficult to break. If you're in an abusive situation, you may recognize this pattern:
Your abuser strikes using words or actions.
Your abuser may beg for forgiveness, offer gifts or promise to change.
Your abuser becomes tense, angry or depressed.
Your abuser repeats the abusive behavior.
Typically each time the abuse occurs, it worsens, and the cycle shortens. As it gets worse, you may have a hard time doing anything about the abuse or even acknowledging it. Over time, an abusive relationship can break you down and unravel your sense of reality and self-esteem. You may begin to doubt your ability to take care of yourself. You may start to feel like the abuse is your fault, or you may even feel you deserve it.
Keep your communication private
It isn't uncommon for an abuser to monitor mail, telephone and Internet communication. Take precautions to help maintain your privacy and safety by following these steps.
Telephone conversations
Avoid making long-distance phone calls from home.
Be cautious when using a cell phone.
Be aware of controlling use of your cell phone. Your abuser may use frequent cell phone conversations or text messages as a way to monitor and control your activities. An abuser may also check your cell phone to see who has called, or attempt to check your messages.
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Sex with Children

Last night I had taken my 8yr. olf child to the CMH ER. She & her younger sister were racing home,my oldest ran into a fire hydrant & flipped over it. Landing her in a very ockward position. A position I didn't think she was able ta put herself into. She was screeming in pain, wouldn't allow me to touch her leg w/o her hollerin' loudly. It felt really stiff & she said she wasnt able to move or touch it @ all. I managed ta get her into tha van & still keep my ear drums in tack & fully operational.
As we sat there @ tha childrens table, they colored many pictures left there, along with a small bucket of crayons. THe children chattered amoungst each other as I sat there wondering, observing & tryin ta figure out each childs purpose for bein there. Most of the parents or adults present were scroungy lookin, as if they had just been picked up off tha streets. Hair uncombed, clothes excessively dirty & or wrinkled, massive smell of foul odor floating the air around their space, leaving an everly stronger scent as they passed by. Nails filled with black dirt & grime,alot of front teeth missing, what little remained, clearly tabacco & or coffee stained, covered with enough plaque one could lay brick with.
As I looked around, I noticed a few other people in which I had seen there tha last time we were as well. Wearing the same clothes as last, had the same ungroomed appearence as well. Each person had a certain characteristical trait that stuck out & had caused me to remember them. For me ta pinpoint it though was impossible. As I had finished my observation of those around me I looked @ myself & slightly giggled inside. I hadn't looked all that great either. My clothes were covered in sawdust, my knees had some mudd on them, from when I had bent dwn. ta pick my daughter up from tha muddy ground, hair pulled straight bk. in a ponytail, no make-up or anything & I was wearing a big grey,red & white starter jacket.
Just as I had looked up, a woman walked thru the ER doors. My first gutt instinct automatically told me she was a social worker. Elderly lady; wearing a long black slick lookin coat, just a little make-up to barely make it visible, grey hair pulled bk. in a nicely tight ponytial wich had been curled just as sweetly. Behind her she was pulling a blue wagon with 2 children in it. Both appeared to be around the age of my 2 girls. Though the oldest one caught my eye first & foremost. Only 8 yrs. of age maybe 10, though not a day older then just that, sitting in tha front of tha wagon,wearing a clearly oversized, by way 2 many sizes, floaters coat. The coat looked as if it were meant for a woman, such as myself. She seemed to be confused, scanning tha room, wondering as ta why in tha world they had been brought there, of all places. Emotions of scared wonderment were written all over her face. I skimmed over tha woman, tryin ta see if there was any type of resemblence, that would have seemingly made them related in some way 'er another. Though I didnt' see any. Just then I heard the desk nurse ask her what it was that had brought her there. The ladies reply was,"It's not as much as a what, as it is a when & who did it issue." Her words repeated themselves over & over in my head tryin ta make sence of what she had just said. The were seemingly taken in tha back rt. away.
A few hrs. later they had called us towards tha back rt. along with a few other children & their parents. We were tha 1st in that group to b placed in a room. Shortly after bein placed, I stepped into the hall to ask someone, anyone for a blanket for my daughter.As I waited I overheard the issues that had been brought to the little children in the wagon. The 10yr old little girl, whom was wearing the overcoat that was clearly merely twice, if not, three times her size, had been sexually molested & was currently pregnant, their estimation was about 5-6months. My heart had immediately fallen to my feet. I couldn't help but to feel exceptional sympathy for the child. How did this happen? WHo in tha hell would touch a child in such a way? How could her mother never have known about anything odd or out of the ordinary? rather it be in her actions, her tone or anything? especially her physical appearance? The social worker had said her thoughts were strongly on the mother's boyfriend, yet it was just a matter of DNA verification @ this current point in time.
I started crying, my heart went so out to that child, for her having to go through this, for her mother not being able or willing to spend enough time with her children to really be involved in their lives to know what's goin on all the time. For her not being educated on things such as this. Her child hood had just been ripped away from her, her innocense stolen, her emotional & physical state of mind had just changed forever all because of an adult who was, only to put it mildly! A SICK INDIVIDUAL WHO NEEDS TA BE PUT TO DEATH BY 1000 LASHES & another in which she had looked up to & hoped to turn to for proper guidence{her mother}
I looked @ how very greatfull my kids are for having me as their mother. I see that I am an exceptionally wonderfull woman who's made sure that my children know of things such as this when they were really young. Though people talk of how wrong they feel I am to talk with them @ such a young age when I ask," Just what is the proper age to talk to kids about sex, what's wrong for another person to do to them? What age should this be done?" nobodys' able to answer with anything other than " well not @ their age that they are rt. now but when they get older!"
Seeing this child in this state in which she was in & knowing that my children have already been very well educated on this subject yrs. before, really makes me feel good as an individual. It's a reassurance that regardless of what others may say or think about my parenting skills,... I AM AN AWESOME MOM! I've become the mother in which I had always wished for.
This case just goes to prove,........it's never to early to prepare a child for the future.As soon as they're able to comprihend, explain, teach & educate them on life's most important issues within the world today.

Today I was just cruisin tha web & came across some of those personality tests & tha love type tests & yadda yadda. I just like ta take those things in my spare time. In hopes that it would amuse me in some way or another in some smear hopes that it would point something out about myself, that I didn't already know.Then of course ya c all these dern Match Maker & date mate er what not ads flying or blinkin someplace upon yer screen. "Click here, click here to meet your perfect match today why wait?" LOL u know tha drill. Yer here online u know what I'm talkin about.

Anyhoo I was just thinkin today as I cruised a bit, fillin out my new profile fer my YIM.There are thousands of people who are supposedly single here online in search of that perfect someone. HOw many of us use tha same line or phrase, excuse what ever ya wanna call it. Here are tha most common ones in which I've come across.

"Tired of the bar scene"
"Worthy woman will not be found in bar"
"Searching for that special someone"
"Looking for misses wright"

Through tha vast majority of these profiles in which I have seen they talk about tha bars. HELLOOOO PEOPLE if yer really wantin ta find someone even remotely worthy of yer time chances are gr8, she or he is str8 under yer damn nose. Bring it dwn from tha sky & open those eyes of yours.

When was tha last time you went to tha GROCERY STORE & looked @ tha opposite sex? Why just keep tha pick up process towards tha bar? I mean come on now EVERYBODY needs groceries! We all go there, we all must eat! So why not try starting a conversation there?

I've actually had a guy approach me while I was @ a Wal-Mart. It was around 1a.m. a friend of mine was staying with me awhile, asked if I would shave his head for him. Though I hadnt any sharp clippers or anything of that sort. I needed a few other things as well for 1 of my 2cousins that were stayin tha weekend with me. So we went ta Wally World. On tha way, my cousin, Brandy spotted these guys she thought were really hot on tha highway. So she tried hangin her head out tha window & holler @ 'em. I didn't see 'em. Just as we walked into WW she was a few feet behind me hollering out tha entrance door. I asked her WTF she was doin & she took notice of the hot guys. So she had ta make her notification be known. Me being somewhat embarressed of her exceptionally loud mouth, caused me ta wanna deeply bury my head into my own chest & deny all acknowledge of her existence. I walked on,in hopes of loosing her for tha remainder of my time spend there. I lost her fer a short period. I heard her talking to some guy a few aisles over. I tried to quickly turn & run dwn even further from her though I wasn't quick enuff. Soon she & some guy were running towards me. The guy approached me, introduced himself to me & asked if I were over 21 & single. I told him yes & asked what his age was for he, himself didn't look 21. He said he wasn't though he did find me as bein very attractive he was just wondering. I laughed said ok & continued on as they walked off. A few moments later I was approached by another guy. He said,"Pardon me, I was wondering if you would by chance be available for dinner sometime" I told him my spare time was far & few in between. With having children, working & going to school.He then told me he would love to take my children & I out for dinner. With that I was shocked. I was very impressed!! So of course he asked for my digits & we went out! That lasted a wee while but anyhoo.

People lemme tell ya; if you'd stop leaving tha pick up process only to tha bars & start applying those techniques to other places, you'd have more luck. Every time I go grocery shoppin I check u men out! Lemme tell ya, I've seen some fine ass men out there. If yer asses weren't so tuned into tha cell phone then ya just may have yer digits asked for.

Or what about out in traffic? Have ya ever stopped @ a traffic light, jumped out of tha car, just ta ask someone stopped next to ya if they were single? or for their digits? LOL We have! Crazy? Bold? ABSOPOSSOLUTELY! (when I say we I'm referring to Brandy.Tha cousin that claims I'm totally & utterly crazy & none other then a bad influence on her, though all in good ways)

What about those book stores we all go to? Barnes & Noble anyone? lol ya'll know we don't spend hrs there just ta read, or thumb thru books. LOL HELLLOOO talk about major opportunity for gettin tha digits of tha opposite sex! Each & everyday we have numerouse of chances ta ask someone else for a chance of a romance encounter. Yet how often are they taken? Tha Gym guys!, u go there ta try impressin us woman as we do u! so y not take it a step further & ask one whom u may think is cute out!

Liar vs. Thief

It's better to trust a thief than a lier.

With a Liar,
You never know where you are.

With a Thief,
you know exactly where yer at;..................They're gonna steal from ya either way.


-Duren "Skip" Sleyster

Polishing Your Authenticity

Why is it that we think we need to be like someone else in order to be liked? Or to be successful? Or to be happy?

One reason is that our society makes celebrities out of people who are unique or who have special abilities. Their qualities and attributes are polished to a bright shine and then professionally presented to the rest of us. We then strive to be like these individuals and yet the very nature of success demands authenticity.

So what's the secret?

It's simple really. We are ALL unique. We ALL have something special to give. Being authentic and true to ourselves is the only chance we have of being liked, being successful, and being truly happy. Improving yourself requires polishing what’s great about you and proudly presenting it to the world.

To Philly, From Alaska, w/love: The dump, videoconferencing, phases.

To Philly, From Alaska, w/love: The dump, videoconferencing, phases.